As we close the book on the year 5777, in the Jewish calendar, I reflect on a year full of complex emotions and experiences. We ushered in Rosh Hashanah 5777 with positivity, experienced major bumps in between, and end the year full of hope for our immediate future. Every trial and tribulation, defined and strengthened our individual character and marriage.
The New Year was full of hope, as we embarked upon a new and exciting quest for a child. We were both excited and nervous, but wholeheartedly believed that this was the year that we would be blessed with a child.
After months of planning and grappling, we were confident in our decision to use an egg donor to get pregnant in the Czech Republic.
During High Holiday services, we prayed for our miracle child, and atoned for our sins and wrongdoings. We were hopeful and confident that our prayers would be answered, but cautiously optimistic because of past failures.
When we left for the IVF egg donor journey to the Czech Republic, we remained steadfast that this trip would mean the end of our battle with infertility. Our arrogance was based on the months we spent researching clinics, and preparing for the procedure with the necessary tests. We were healthy and excited.
On the day that we got our negative pregnancy test, it felt like a punch to the gut. We felt defeated and lost. For a period of time we wandered around lost and hopeless, like we were in a desert with no food or water. Finding meaning and perspective were almost impossible as to why we were once again denied the thing we most desired; namely a child.
Through the murkiness of our lives, there are many amazing individuals who bestowed upon us both acts of loving kindness and support. It is through these extraordinary acts that I realize that despite not being pregnant, I am in fact blessed. These nameless women restore hope, and instill strength and courage through their selfless acts.
As we close the book on the year 5777, we are once again hopeful that 5778 will bring us our miracle child.
To all our friends and family observing Rosh Hashanah we wish you a sweet New Year. May you be inscribed in the Book of Life for a year of good health, happiness, peace and prosperity.
Stay tuned for the next blog where we reveal our future plans….