Posted by: Babyblues | December 12, 2016

The Ring that Rekindled Our Quest

Infertility both a blessing and a curse….

I have faced many challenges in my life. You may say who cares, I have my own problems to deal with. I am not asking for pity, but rather a chance to share my experiences. A forum that is judgment free. Perhaps there are others out there who have their own challenges and struggles, but are afraid to open up and share. Sometimes it is easier to open up to someone you barely know, then the people closest to you. I am blessed with family and friends, and therefore never really face challenges on my own, but yet I find that no one can truly understand my pain or frustration. Other times I feel like a burden, and think to myself why would anyone want to listen to my problems when there are far worse things happening in the world.

In the past few months, my infertility has once again become a hot bed of stress and conversation. Everywhere I turn I am reminded that I am a forty-two year old woman with no children. Meanwhile most of my friends are busy raising kids and basking in the joy of motherhood.

In the spring, I saw a friend I had not seen in quite some time. In the midst of catching up, she asked what I had done with the kabbalah ring she gave me years a few years ago jewish_jewelry_kabbalah_jewelry_hebrew_jewelry_jewish_wedding_ring_love_jewelry_jewish_ring_kabbalah_ring_blessing_ring_wedding_ring_israel_jewelry_holy_jewelry_love_ring_religious_jewelry_2__74557-13when we first starting trying to conceive.  This is no ordinary ring, to my friend and so many others, it is believed, amongst other things, to help infertile women conceive.  I confided that we gave up on ever having children. We had already endured three failed IVF attempts, one miscarriage and an infection. This is not the answer she wanted or was willing to accept. In fact, she insisted I come to her house so that we could talk in private  and she could share stories of other women’s struggles. This night was the beginning the of the third leg of my quest to get pregnant.

After that night, I was once again reminded of my failures, and fearful of opening up the door that I had for all intents and purposes was closed. Just when I was trying to convince myself that I was destined not to have children, a generous and loving soul pushed me to reconsider. While I could have anticipated the stress of restarting our quest for a child, I could never have anticipated the blessing of strangers. Women I have never met face to face opening their hearts and struggles, as I grappled with our new reality.

This blog will chronicle our journey for a child. A road that is not traditional, but will g-d willing bring us a child. And so began our pilgrimage for pink or blue…




  1. Burke, did you ever consider doing IVF in Israel? They are very advanced, as IVF in Israel is free to their citizens. They want their population to increase, so it is a very specialized field. I did medical tourism for a while and I had researched many IVF facilities all around Israel. It is considerably less expensive and they have advanced technology. It may be worth looking into. I haven’t done it for a long time, but I could probably give you some hospitals that would accept medical tourists if you were inclined to explore the possibility.
    Mara Lewin

  2. Burke, I think it’s admirable that you’re sharing your story here. There are SO many women who have struggled through this. It’s often not talked about so having a forum where others feel comfortable to take part in the conversation is a beautiful thing. Though our path was different, my husband and I tried for 5 years to conceive. It was literally within weeks/months of realigning our plans and outlook to live our lives without children that we found ourselves expecting our first! And then before we knew it, we found ourselves with another! Life works in mysterious ways, no doubt.

    • Thank you for your kind words. I am overwhelmed by the kind and supportive responses

  3. Dear Burke, thank you so much for sharing your story. it reveals your strength, determinism, dreams coupled with the pain and frustration. i pray this journey will yield your dream. in the meantime your bravery is undoubtedly providing a source of strength and inspiration for those lucky to cross your path…sending love…phyllis krug

    • Thank you for your kind words

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